Away for class without mummy

The first time ever, he goes into art class or any class for that matter without his mummy. He was confident and walked in quietly with the teacher. I, on another end was feeling little nervous that he might be feeling worried without me. There has never been. Much moments without any known person; me, dad or grandpa.

He was really good in the class. He spoke to the teacher. Responding to her questions. Even asking her some questions in return to deepen his understanding. Twice I took a peek into the class to see how he was doing. Thank God he wasn't facing the door to spot me outside the class. Once I signalled to the teacher in a gesture to ask if he was doing alright. She responded that he was fine. Oh how glad I felt on knowing that.

So I waited patiently at the waiting area. I could still hear the teacher and him speaking to each other. That's a good sign. When a child feels comfortable and able to communicate well with the entrusted teacher, he could feel at ease and learn better. At least that's what I believe.

Half way through the class was a short water break. He comes out with the teacher. His water bottle was with me in my bag. So I pass him the bottle. He takes a drink and hugs me. Then after he continues his class. At the end of the class, his teacher takes a photo of him. It is for a short like pocket made of paper. It would hold his student card. Each time he comes in for class, he needs to get that card from the pocket and hand it over to the teacher to scan his attendance. That's so awesome. He was so excited and so was I.

Class ended and I am happy he managed through the 1.5 hours without much of his mummy. I have the confidence that he will survive school separation next year. I was proud of him for his confidence and communication with his teacher. I hope for good progress moving forward. It is my intention to gradually increase the duration of the separation in preparation for his preschool in 2017. I am thinking it will also help him to boost his own sense of independence with new people; teachers and friends.

Rap's first trial art class

Rap has been attending playschool for slightly more than a year. The syllabus is concluding and now he needs to move on with other levels or forms of learning. Instead of enrolling him to school just yet, I thought it would be good for him to attend some art and craft classes. He loves making crafts but not always I have the opportunity to get the materials for him. 

Both of us went around to a suitable art school to see if he could fit into their lessons. In his trial class, rap was so casual yet focused on his work. The teacher was very pleasant and friendly with him. She sat down with him with some colored pencils and piece of paper with mangosteen drawing. Whenever the teacher asks rap questions, he would respond to her and answer her. At times being silent as he was focused in coloring that fruit. She taught him how to hold the color pencil and how to color the picture with simple hand movements. Rap was able to follow through with the teacher and was happy to even draw his own mangosteen.

Tap communicated well with the teacher, even asking her questions at times. He was able to pick out pairs of similar color pencils for the artwork each time. The teacher asked him, where do you find the fruit at your place? He told her that he finds them on a tree. So the teacher draws a tree and guides rap to draw one as well. He was keen to complete drawing the leaves of the tree which are drawn like a cloud. Right after that, he tells the teacher, some of the leaves fell to the ground. So teacher draws a few leaves on the ground and rap was happy. Later the teacher asks him about the number of fruits on the tree and rap says two. Now the tree has two fruits. Rap colored the tree and the fruits with the help and guidance from his teacher. 

Although sometimes he changes the direction of the strokes, he was able to listen and follow instructions well. I am totally happy to see my boy learning. But the happiest part of it all is to see him happy. For the first timer in an art class, rap surprised me with his patience, focus and determination. 

This was also the first time, I am not next to him during a class. He gave me the confidence that he will be fine when he goes to school eventually. In fact, rap told me I can wait outside while he is in the class. The teacher left the door open. I could see him from where I was sitting. I could also hear them speak to each other. At the beginning few minutes, rap checked to see if I was still outside. Then after he was connected with his teacher. He even happily ran to me to show his artwork when it was complete. 

You make me proud rap, even the smallest effort.

A heart to give

Sometimes it is not easy to give away something that is owned to someone else but a heart that gives feels fulfilled. Rap had owned a pet house with a bus design that he bought at a pet shop in Midvalley. He loves to jump into it and hide or ask to be lifted with him still inside. It comes with an opening at the front, where a windscreen would normally appear. It also has a soft cushion inside. He has been having it for more than a year now and would frequently play with it. He would ask me to bring it down from the top of the cupboard whenever he needs it.

Yesterday we were heading to visit his cousin who owns a shih tzu dog. Rap had an idea. He told me he wants to bring that pet house for the dog. He has seen the dog previously and noticed its cage, water bottle and food. Rap said he wants to give away the pet house so that the dog could sleep in it just in case something bad happens to its current cage. He told me a story that goes this way.

If chinu's house gets blown away by a strong wind, chinu can sleep in this pet house. Chinu won't feel scared. He also told me that chinu would eat anything when I told him chinu eats dog food. Well, rap paid attention to what his cousin brother told him before.

Rap has decided. I have supported him to give it to chinu. He was very excited about giving it to chinu. I reminded rap that once it's given, he can't have it back. He agreed and still stood firm to his decision. He also said he could still see the pet house whenever he visited his cousin. Very well rap. You have a good heart to give away something you really love. I will not stand against your good will.

As we were leaving the house, rap grabbed the pet house, held it over his head and walked to the car. We placed it in the back seat. Once we reached our destination, rap said he will get the pet house. So again he held it over his head and brought the pet house for chinu. His cousins were happy with the gift and excited for chinu to use it. They even put chinu into the pet house. Chinu rolled inside and nibbled on the cushion. It stayed in for a while before walking out. They plan to keep the pet house in the room so chinu could sleep in it during the night. Rap was happy to see chinu in the pet house.

My work hour starts pass bedtime

Today was particularly tiring as my dad was not around to help me with cooking or even entertaining rap for a bit. My day started with breakfast, followed by preparing lunch. Rap was watching cartoon and I had to tell him to stop as it was longer than needed screen time. So, he fusses and calls me to play with him. I had to explain to him to play independently until I am done with cooking. As the rice was cooking on the stovetop, I had to clean the fridge. It was filled with some old food that had not been looked at for more than a week. I had to trash the spoilt food into the bin and wash the trays in the fridge. Some spilled liquid covered the trays and dripped all the way till the bottom of the fridge. Disgusting to even retrieve anything from the fridge to eat. After cleaning, the fridge is clean and tidy, while I feel satisfied with the quick effort while the rice was cooking.

After bath time, rap did some book activities at his desk. Today he wrote number 2. Then after he was playing with some toys when I called him over for some art work. Recently, we bought some sponge shapes. Initially, rap and I planned to make a construction site but we started with a tree. Then rap, made moon and stars. Some stars even landed on the ground. We had clouds too. Rap added some orange flowers on the tree. Some flowers even fell to the ground. Then after, we made underwater scene with fishes, sea snake, seaweed and many moon falling into the water. That was the special fun touch of rap.

We both went to the kitchen to fry some colorful 'papadam'. Rap helped me put them into the oil. He mentioned that everyone is scared that the oil will burn their finger and so is he. He even showed much concern when oil sprayed on my t-shirt. He asked if it was painful. Did it hurt me and so on. 

Rap was not hungry, so I proceeded with sorting his toys. Loads of work shifting and sorting. I even managed to do some labeling on the boxes so we could all identify the content of each box easily. It would also make cleaning up in future more easy. At least I hope that it would be easier since we know what item goes into which box. Some of the labels contain images for visual identification since rap is not able to read yet.

It was lunch time.

After lunch, I hung the clothes to dry. Wash some of the dishes and proceeded with the sorting activity. It was almost 3pm when we went to bed but rap could not sleep. Although he lay in bed for good 1 hour, feeling tired, he could not close those little eyes. Finally, I decided it was pointless for him to nap at 4.45pm. So, we both got out of bed. I prepared sand play for rap in his new big container. The sand was moist, suitable for making sand castles but rap decided to play with his trucks in the sand. 

After cleaning up, it was shower time. I planned to put rap to bed earlier than usual because he skipped nap. We did not go down to the playground either. In fact, I have not even touched on my studies till now. I have to wait till rap sleeps later. I fed him is fruity dinner and had some bread and butter for myself. Daddy returns home from work but rap is not going to have much time to play with daddy today. By 8pm, rap was in bed but only slept by 9pm.

I remained in bed for 15mins since rap was resting his head on my right arm. Slowly, I moved out from bed to get some work done. A solid 2.5hours was all I could do today. My work starts pass bedtime. I am tired and need rest to endure another fresh day tomorrow. I hope to wake early morning to get more experimentation done before rap wakes up in the morning.

Different or same, I follow my heart

I had often felt overwhelmed with responsibilities; child, study, work, and the list of other common home related matters. I have tried to prioritize my duties according to demand. My responsibility as a mom had always been the utmost priority. For instance, if I do not brush my child's teeth, who will?, if I do not give my child a shower, who will?, if I do not prepare and feed my child a meal, who will?, if I do not encourage my child to learn through books, who will?, if I do not create an opportunity for my child to socialize, who will?, if I do not create a space for my child to play safely, who will?. A lot of these questions linger in my head. Mostly, answered, "I". Yes, I am the person who ensures the basic, daily needs of my child. 

Some may say, that is because I am stay-at-home-mom. I agree partially. Even a working mom would have some of these in their head. To rush home and be the mom of their child, doing all the necessary. For one strong reason I believe, responsibility as a parent is not a choice, it is an obligation. There is no room for choices. It is not something to choose to do today but not tomorrow or when there is time. It has to happen every day, every time when it comes to caring for a child. Even imagining about a neglected child, just even any one of the basic needs could cause much pain later for the child and/or the parents. 

I don't understand how some can look at child responsibility as a choice. Maybe because it does not generate any income? Could an employee hired in a company choose to just not do his or her work most times and only work when he or she feels like it? Could the employee choose to just not go to work as and whenever he or she chooses to? Could an employee walk in to work at any convenient time? Most of the time, No, without a price to pay. How is it such responsibilities and punctuality not shown to their own child? It really makes me wonder. 

Possibly ignorant because someone else will do it, if not I. Someone else will feed, if I am late, someone else will put to bed if I am busy, someone else will play if I am not around and all the reasons for not meeting the obligations of caring for a child.

I am obliged to care for the innocent child gifted to me. I will not wait for that someone else. It is me and who I want to be as a mom, a responsible mom. The one that would give with her heart. No matter how tired, busy or sick. I follow my heart.  

"My amma"

Rap is such a sweetheart. He asks me to play with him and kiss him repeatedly. Randomly he would just wrap his arms around my neck and hold me tight, even while sleeping. He'd come close and hug me tight. Other times he will go "my amma", "my mama", "I want amma", "you are mine", "my mummy" with so much affection. It melts my heart. You are my life rap. Saying like these to me makes me feel so happy. Who else could say like that to me if not you, rap.
Last night, rap was playing with daddy and I went to call rap. It was time for bed. Rap runs towards me and hugs me tight. So I kiss him few times and tell him, it is time for bed. He asks for more play time and gets the extra time. He held my face and kisses me on my cheek "muaah" with the kissing sound. Oh, so adorable. I love that kiss rap. He saw me happy and repeated a few times. Walks away and seeing me still kneeling on the floor. Walks right back and kiss my cheeks again. I cherish all these beautiful moments.
Rap wouldn't always offer kisses. He would turn away at time when asked or just choose not to do. I respect that of cause. The decision is his to give that peck or not. When he's ready, he would. I have always told him, you don't have to kiss someone to get something from them. Whenever someone says, "give me a kiss, I will give you the item", should never make you want to kiss them. To kiss or not is rap's personal choice. No misusing his childhood to get that kiss. Even I wouldn't kiss and uncle or aunty I've known for years, why should rap?

Anyway, rap is sweet. He is generous and kind too. Keep the good with you rap.

First entry to 2016

Hi everyone,

Happy new year 2016 to all readers. May you have the best year ever. How was your celebration?

I didn't do much but I had my whole time with my family. This is more worth while.

Times have changed from heading out for countdowns, looking forward to new year eve and having meals with friends outside, heading back home past midnight to more home centric. Since, having a child and being the 24/7 parent, I never left rap under another person's care because I wanted to head out for new year eve countdown. This year is not any different. I know I can head out again when rap is older and at a certain age, rap will party with his friends and look forward to such celebrations. 

On new year day morning, we went to temple to start off the year with God's blessings. We spent about an hour at the temple before heading back home. On our way home, rap wanted to buy McD Frozen Fanta. So we went off to get that. Had lunch at home, cooked by my dad.

Rap refused to nap after 1.5 hours of lying in bed. I has having flu and needed rest but no luck because rap did not nap. I then decided to make the day a little worthy by depositing in bank account on new year. Saving is important. I felt satisfied doing so on the first day of the year and hopefully continue throughout the year. On our way back, I bought pizza for dinner. Daddy only returned home about 7 pm after attending a talk. Rap and I enjoyed some cartoon before hitting the bed.

I usually don't make any new year resolution but this year I thought of making some simple resolutions. Such resolutions which seem more realistic for me. 

1. Eat more fruits and vegetables.

2. Exercise frequently. 3 times a week; may it be jog, walking 10000 steps, some yoga, or playing in the park.

3. Get my 2 publications for my studies.

I hope to remind myself on these resolutions to stay healthy and also guide rap to healthy lifestyle, not just confined within the house but to go out and enjoy at a park or playground. Yesterday, we had a great time at the playground. I jogged while rap played on the swing with a friend. After every round jogging around the playground, I would stop and swing rap. His feet is not touching the ground to swing himself. Then after, we played a ball game with 2 other kids. I was tired from all the running, catching, throwing and kicking of the ball. Nevertheless, I felt good from the play and exercise. 

I am responsible to make everyday of my year beautiful, memorable and worth while. It is also an important year of my study. Never stop until you reach what you aimed to achieve. But that does not mean I won't take a break in between. All work and no play is not fun. 

Happy Blessed New Year, 2016.