My work hour starts pass bedtime

Today was particularly tiring as my dad was not around to help me with cooking or even entertaining rap for a bit. My day started with breakfast, followed by preparing lunch. Rap was watching cartoon and I had to tell him to stop as it was longer than needed screen time. So, he fusses and calls me to play with him. I had to explain to him to play independently until I am done with cooking. As the rice was cooking on the stovetop, I had to clean the fridge. It was filled with some old food that had not been looked at for more than a week. I had to trash the spoilt food into the bin and wash the trays in the fridge. Some spilled liquid covered the trays and dripped all the way till the bottom of the fridge. Disgusting to even retrieve anything from the fridge to eat. After cleaning, the fridge is clean and tidy, while I feel satisfied with the quick effort while the rice was cooking.

After bath time, rap did some book activities at his desk. Today he wrote number 2. Then after he was playing with some toys when I called him over for some art work. Recently, we bought some sponge shapes. Initially, rap and I planned to make a construction site but we started with a tree. Then rap, made moon and stars. Some stars even landed on the ground. We had clouds too. Rap added some orange flowers on the tree. Some flowers even fell to the ground. Then after, we made underwater scene with fishes, sea snake, seaweed and many moon falling into the water. That was the special fun touch of rap.

We both went to the kitchen to fry some colorful 'papadam'. Rap helped me put them into the oil. He mentioned that everyone is scared that the oil will burn their finger and so is he. He even showed much concern when oil sprayed on my t-shirt. He asked if it was painful. Did it hurt me and so on. 

Rap was not hungry, so I proceeded with sorting his toys. Loads of work shifting and sorting. I even managed to do some labeling on the boxes so we could all identify the content of each box easily. It would also make cleaning up in future more easy. At least I hope that it would be easier since we know what item goes into which box. Some of the labels contain images for visual identification since rap is not able to read yet.

It was lunch time.

After lunch, I hung the clothes to dry. Wash some of the dishes and proceeded with the sorting activity. It was almost 3pm when we went to bed but rap could not sleep. Although he lay in bed for good 1 hour, feeling tired, he could not close those little eyes. Finally, I decided it was pointless for him to nap at 4.45pm. So, we both got out of bed. I prepared sand play for rap in his new big container. The sand was moist, suitable for making sand castles but rap decided to play with his trucks in the sand. 

After cleaning up, it was shower time. I planned to put rap to bed earlier than usual because he skipped nap. We did not go down to the playground either. In fact, I have not even touched on my studies till now. I have to wait till rap sleeps later. I fed him is fruity dinner and had some bread and butter for myself. Daddy returns home from work but rap is not going to have much time to play with daddy today. By 8pm, rap was in bed but only slept by 9pm.

I remained in bed for 15mins since rap was resting his head on my right arm. Slowly, I moved out from bed to get some work done. A solid 2.5hours was all I could do today. My work starts pass bedtime. I am tired and need rest to endure another fresh day tomorrow. I hope to wake early morning to get more experimentation done before rap wakes up in the morning.

Different or same, I follow my heart

I had often felt overwhelmed with responsibilities; child, study, work, and the list of other common home related matters. I have tried to prioritize my duties according to demand. My responsibility as a mom had always been the utmost priority. For instance, if I do not brush my child's teeth, who will?, if I do not give my child a shower, who will?, if I do not prepare and feed my child a meal, who will?, if I do not encourage my child to learn through books, who will?, if I do not create an opportunity for my child to socialize, who will?, if I do not create a space for my child to play safely, who will?. A lot of these questions linger in my head. Mostly, answered, "I". Yes, I am the person who ensures the basic, daily needs of my child. 

Some may say, that is because I am stay-at-home-mom. I agree partially. Even a working mom would have some of these in their head. To rush home and be the mom of their child, doing all the necessary. For one strong reason I believe, responsibility as a parent is not a choice, it is an obligation. There is no room for choices. It is not something to choose to do today but not tomorrow or when there is time. It has to happen every day, every time when it comes to caring for a child. Even imagining about a neglected child, just even any one of the basic needs could cause much pain later for the child and/or the parents. 

I don't understand how some can look at child responsibility as a choice. Maybe because it does not generate any income? Could an employee hired in a company choose to just not do his or her work most times and only work when he or she feels like it? Could the employee choose to just not go to work as and whenever he or she chooses to? Could an employee walk in to work at any convenient time? Most of the time, No, without a price to pay. How is it such responsibilities and punctuality not shown to their own child? It really makes me wonder. 

Possibly ignorant because someone else will do it, if not I. Someone else will feed, if I am late, someone else will put to bed if I am busy, someone else will play if I am not around and all the reasons for not meeting the obligations of caring for a child.

I am obliged to care for the innocent child gifted to me. I will not wait for that someone else. It is me and who I want to be as a mom, a responsible mom. The one that would give with her heart. No matter how tired, busy or sick. I follow my heart.